2005 McQueary Family Christmas Letter

Where to begin? This has certainly been a full year. In many ways I feel like I should wait until the end of a school year to do this... our lives seem to be (primarily because of ministry to students) inextricably linked to school years. But I'll give it a go anywho.


Without a doubt one of the greatest events in our family's year... and I do mean our family (not just mine) was the Chicago White Sox winning the World Series. Usually by October our house has already fully transitioned to football. Not this year. I was at the division-clinching game in Detroit - one of my leaders had bought us tickets months in advance (before we ever knew that they would be clinching that late in the season). Beating last year's champs (Boston) would have been a pretty good feeling... we drew them for the first round. Game 1 we scored 14 runs and never looked back. We swept Boston, lost only 1 game in the ALCS series to the Angels (by 1 run) and swept the Houston Astros to win it all! Truly amazing. But enough about baseball. There have been many other significant happenings for us.

Christina took classes and worked to become a certified Group Fitness Instructor. She enjoys leading a class and also works at the front desk part time at the YMCA. She loves working out and is in the best shape of her life... at least one of us is.

Christina continues to enjoy her twin passions of decorating and landscaping. We watch more decorating and gardening shows than any man should ever be subjected to. Actually I have learned to enjoy watching those shows with her. There are even times when I am the one to turn them on first. She laughs at that pretty hard.

In addition to that busy schedule she is the Domestic Engineer of our household and the glue that keeps us from flying apart.

Natalie has joined the Middle School ranks and the church youth group as well (which threw her youth pastor dad into some major depression and early mid-life-type crisis). She made the Honor Roll in her very first attempt... an amazing feat made more incredible considering the lineage from which she is a descendant. She is a band member learning to play the clarinet. She loves Middle School.

At church she is using her gifts by serving on the Communications Team for Middle School Youth Group. Her team is responsible for design and communication for activities and service projects and outreach events. She has taken the lead on several projects (insert proud father stuff here _________ ).

She is also a Girl Scout. Recently she took a babysitting course and is looking forward to that aspect of her life. And practicing by serving in the Children's Ministry at church a few times every month. She also still enjoys soccer and talking to/emailing friends... she thinks she needs a phone now. We are very excited to see God at work in Natalie.

Erica lines up on the third grade team this year. She just completed her part in the Nutcracker performance as a beautiful little flower. A type-casted role to be sure. Erica makes everyone around her better. She just has that way about her... a social magnet. Knows everyone. Known by everyone.

She is wonderfully innocent. For someone with such a firm grasp of reality, she has an amazing imagination. She can still play for hours on end with inanimate objects of all kinds. You would think, from the other side of a closed door, that she was at tea with innumerable live characters.

Erica was able to let the songbird in her take flight this year. She was in a Broadway-style production of Disney's Aladdin. A friend of mine is an accomplished musician and has made it his life's work to pass on his love for music to kids. Erica had a blast learning not only her own parts, but she easily could have stood in for some of the older students who had principal roles. She is a joy! She has the ferocity of her mother and is still her daddy's little girl.

How can I possibly describe Tyler? He is a full-timer now at school as he is in the first grade. Unfortunately he seems to love his nickname "little Rob". That really puts the pressure on a guy, you know? Tyler continues to love drawing and has an uncanny ability to make people laugh. We are trying to help him learn when that is a good thing and when to hold off and look for more good material.

He is an excellent student and somehow is able to wake up each day with a completely natural smile in only a few seconds... not fair. He has a zest for life. Without a doubt, he is the most disciplined person in the house. He is the only one with his own room. It is the darkest room in the house. And though, he is certain that going to sleep will mean he may miss something really good, he zones out within minutes of turning off the lights. In anticipation of the coming day he will often (in total darkness after lights out) completely make his bed and as we go to bed will find him fast asleep on top of his covers dressed and ready for school the next day.

Tyler is the conscience of all who are around him. He has a good sense for what is right... and usually finds himself on "the right side of the law". Don't mistake this for monasticism. Tyler is all boy! Almost all of his pants have no cloth around the knees... and this is not the result of hours of endless praying. We are thankful for our little leader. He will be a great man someday. He has a good start already.

I always hate writing about myself in these things. Really I do. Besides finding myself having to work a little harder to keep up with these teenagers, I still love what I do. A few weeks back one of the high school kids took out my knee during a game of Capture the Flag. I tried to baby it, but am still on the wanting end of things and heading to an orthopedic doc next week.

Christina and I have been married almost 13 years and our time here in Michigan (5 years) is more than twice as long as we have lived in any one place. We are thankful to be part of a balanced, Bible-teaching church. We serve on a team that is growing and where all of us are trying to be continuing students as well as teachers.

Finally, let me just express how grateful we are to call each of you a friend. As time works its magic on us we see people pass who we thought would be with us forever. My grandma Emily McQueary was one of those people. And though her long, full life was in many ways the exception to the rule, her passing in January of this year reminds me that all of our days are numbered. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. As screwed up as I am sometimes, I know that I am still able to make my days here count for something now and hopefully for eternity as well. May each of us make that our business.

Exactly What Kind of Tree Is This?

Well, it's that time of year again. Merry or Happy Holidays, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice or whatever you celebrate or do not. I think that pretty well covers everyone.

So, with an ever-changing ethnic and religious landscape, exactly what kind of tree is this? The question has deep and abiding ramifications, yet the answer is simple. It depends largely on your personal preference. For most, this is a fir tree. However some prefer spruce and there are even a few who select from a variety of pine. Fewer still - mostly our southern friends - will enjoy cedar.

Obviously I am having a little fun with a topic that seems to be creating some national discussion... and even in our own household. What should we call this tree? This season? Is there a secret plot (led by the media, the Democratic party, the ACLU and Target) to remove Christ from Christmas? This scenario would probably make many conservative Christians feel better, but I'm not sure it is accurate.

I am an admitted (not yet recovering) techie. I love gadgets. For the most part, gadgets have helped me simplify my life... and lose what little bit of memory I may have had left. After all, if my computer and PDA are going to remember a bit of information, why should I? I will even go so far as to admit that I have become dependent on all of these great tools. I can't even show up at the gym anymore without bringing my iPod along for the workout. What does that thought have to do with this discussion?

For Christians this high and holy season marks the birth of Jesus. Well, perhaps not the actual birth, but certainly the celebration of that event. He was probably born sometime between April and September as this is the time shepherds are out in the fields keeping watch over their flocks by night. Few would argue (Christian or not) that the religiosity of Christmas has changed in, say, the last twenty years. My own neighborhood demonstrates this truth. We like to drive around and look at the beautiful and varied displays of lights - think National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. These days we are greeted by Santa and Frosty, an occasional Rudolph and a Christmas version of Homer Simpson. Usually these same characters are inflated to at least twice the size of the homeowner's largest vehicle... it just works out that way. Our culture seems bent on at least expanding the definition of Christmas.

So is it up to Jerry Falwell and James Dobson to save Christmas? Yes! And... not exactly. Yes, it does fall to Jerry and James and Rob and whatever your name is if you are a Jesus-follower. The job of keeping Christ in Christmas is ours. The reason He is not at the center of this holiday anymore is because of so-called Christians failing to keep Him there. There is no conspiracy. It is not the fault of pre-faith people that Jesus is being removed from Christmas. The only way that Jesus gets removed from Christmas is if we who believe remove Him. Christ leaves Christmas when Christ leaves me. And though He never technically leaves me, unfortunately there have been times I have left Him.

So what kind of tree is this? What kind of season are we celebrating? How do we keep Christ in Christmas?

1. Be proactive, but not like you might think... make sure you understand and practice REAL Christmas.
2. Don't be like Herod... his answer was to kill everyone that could even possibly be associated with the Christ - resist the urge to do this in reverse.
3. Be sensitive to the traditions of others... being sensitive doesn't eliminate my voice or my understanding. In fact, it probably lends credence to it.
   

Unexpected Lessons from Strange Sources

Who knew? Have you ever learned a lesson from an unexpected source? I'm in the middle of one of those lessons now. Our church (my employer) is in the middle of a building project. There is always something exciting about that process. This happens to be a major project for us. After many years of meeting in a room that was really a multi-purpose-type room, we are FINALLY building a "real" sanctuary. The enthusiasm is palpable.

With this project comes the need for our staff offices to move off site for a minimum of six months. We are being evicted (that's a bit what it feels like) this week. Thankfully we have been able to rent a piece of a strip mall that will enable all of us to stay together as a staff team for a resonable price. That fact doesn't necessarily help me welcome the pre-process that is a part of our reality, but I mention all of this because the unexpected lesson comes in here.

So what's the lesson? Don't move! My family's movement would have dizzied the pioneers who journeyed west. After all, even though they moved frequently, their movement was in one direction. Since I married my wonderful, loving, kind and patient wife twelve-and-a-half years ago we have lived in South Carolina, Illinois, Wisconsin, Virginia, Arizona, Kentucky and, for the last 5 years, here in Michigan.

Needless to say - for my dear wife's sake - I have no business even thinking about another move. But unfortunately, I do. It can be a difficult situation, a cross word from a parent, insecurity over aging and remaining a Pastor to Students... the Enemy has many great ideas (and proven methods of infiltration) to get me thinking about relocation. And after all, the greatest myth... surely the grass is greener on the other side. Sheep!

OK. Now I'm rambling. So what is the lesson? Having to pack up my things and put them in boxes has made me resist any of the urges (no matter how logical they may be at the time) to move. And, quite simply, that was a totally unexpected lesson from a strange source. We love The Chapel Evangelical Free Church and all we have experienced here. With God's help, we will keep shepherding students and families here for as long as he wills. Thanks for the lesson.

Sharpening the Saw

Habit #7 in Steven Covey's book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says that... "the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life is investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute."

The translation of that means that we are responsible for improving ourselves. This is difficult. This is biblical. This takes work. I guess that is why most people would rather just hold their breath waiting for tenure and kick back... oops! Was that the outside voice?

Call it advanced education. Call it whatever you will. The reality is that most people are just glad they have a saw. Thankfully most companies are not. I mean they're glad for the saw and all, but they know that in a few more uses that saw is going to get dull whether it wants to or not. It will start binding and catching and become quickly ineffective.

What is the answer? There are the "industry-standard" answers... depending, I suppose, on your industry. But things like seminars, conferences and retreats. Of course reading the "experts" in one's field never hurts. And all those things are good and should be done.

But for the Christ follower, there is NO "keeping sharp" substitute for the Word of God. And it makes good sense. This is our link to God. If I believe all of that living and active stuff that Hebrews 4:12 talks about, I would be a fool not to spend my energy here. When I sit at the feet of Jesus every day, I cannot help being a learner. Spending time with God makes me realize how little I know and how far I have to go and what I need to do to get there. It keeps me sharp. As it turns out, the best way to sharpen the saw is with the Sword.

The Simple Life

I am a complicated person. I doubt that anyone, certainly not my wife or anyone that knows me very well, would ever accuse me of being simple. I only wish I had a simple life.

"The real path to greatness, it turns out, requires simplicity and diligence. It requires clarity, not instant illumination." - Jim Collins, author of Good to Great.

I struggle with this. I long for this. Don't get nervous. I'm not advocating that we all move to Montana and start a new wave of religious isolationism. I am only testifying that I am too busy. And it's more than that. I like it busy. When my calendar is full I feel that I am "doing my job" and I must be making God happy. Ouch! That's ugly.

Though few of us would argue for a busy and cluttered life, fewer of us still, work at eliminating those same types of things from our lives.

What was it about colonial America that lent itself to overt spirituality? Dare we say its simplicity? I think of friends of mine who move to more rural settings. I have shamefully said of them things like, "they just couldn't make it in the big city." But who really has the "better" life? Me or them? Simple. Uncluttered. Though their life is not worryless, certainly they worry less. Perhaps... no, certainly... I am just jealous.

Our fathers knew precisely what they were doing. They were not just arguing for spiritual freedom. They were arguing against the tyranny of external religion that is more concerned with posturing than it is with genuine soul being.

All of these thoughts came for me in a down time. A night "off" made possible by a church Christmas concert, turned into a deeper understanding of reality.

God is not impressed with how many appointments I am able to schedule in one week. He is not looking for me to fill that last bit of free time with something... anything. He is into "come apart and rest awhile" moments. Like Martha, I have become worried with the "doing" and forgotten - almost entirely - about the "being". He says to me in those moments, "Please, mind your own busyness." Give me more of your time. Allow me to know you more intimately. Know me back.

I'm glad He speaks to me that way.

Finding Spiritual Blessings In Secular Traditions

Today was deck the halls day at our bungalow. I must admit that each year I anticipate this year... with great disdain. I know... all the ladies are shaking their heads. But I also know all the (honest) guys are saying... me too!

So that's how I started. Not very excited. Certainly not very spiritual. I did get into it after awhile. What really got me into the Christmas spirit was a conversation with our 8-year-old. She asked, "Dad, why do we put up Christmas trees anyways?" Then, just as quickly, she answered her own question, "It's because God wants us to do work together as a family and have lots of fun, right?" Wow!

From that talk I went into investigation mode. Part of me wanted to be able to answer her initial question. After all, I had heard the stories of the "spiritual significance" of Christmas trees. And how cool would it be to be able to pass along that information to my children? What I found was closer to the reality of the up's and down's/high's and low's of Christianity itself...

There were, in fact, historically-proven times where the Christmas tree (and the whole decorating thing) had great spiritual emphasis. And my temptation was to tell that part and stop. As with our Christian and modern version of many of the holidays, I am often guilty of only emphasizing the Christian part of that history and stopping. But these symbols were just as pagan in some times as they were religious in others.

So I gave the kids both pieces of information. Then we went back to the earlier point made by my daughter when she asked the insightful question about origin. Isn't it about doing things together and having lots of fun? Absolutely! If I can be reminded of the significance of the Trinity along the way or think of the majesty of that fir (in our case, plastic) tree pointing heavenward... extra bonus!

But the point I will take to my pillow tonight is that we had a blast today working together as a family. Laughing. Burning old wooden ornaments in the fire place (sorry I'm a bit of a pyro). And just being what God intended us to be... family. Now that's a spiritual blessing.

My Limited Thinking v. God's Limitless Knowing: A Collision

Occasionally on this site because I am such a HUGE music addict... I mean fan... I will give my totally unsolicited opinion on some of the fresh stuff that is out. One such album is the highly-anticipated and not-a-moment-too-soon release of the David Crowder Band's offering A Collision.

I will try to speak as an artist first and a fan second. Sometimes those lines get blurry.

The first thing I love about these guys is that they are total & true musicians first and foremost. In the same vein as the Dave Matthews Band, you will not want to pick and choose tracks from this (or any other) album. The CD tells a story. In a way, you cannot listen to it as music... only. It is so much more! Collision is crammed with almost-expected Crowder depth and understanding of who God is and what He is about. Simple yet complicated. Reachable yet holy and almost out of reach. Intricate. These guys bring it!

Pick up (that means purchase not steal from someone else) a copy for yourself today.